Blind Sided

As I approach the one year mark with my divorce...I thought I had about done all the firsts. First Christmas, first wedding anniversary, birthday, mothers day, ect. then. DA DA DA DA: Fathers Day and smack I was completely blind sided, I had no idea I would take it so hard. Maybe it was that there was know one to fix breakfast in bed for...wait that was kinda nice:) maybe it was the primary kids singing in sacrament meeting and my little one saying "well that was awkward, I was singing to know one" or maybe it was the priests in the ward all speaking about their fathers and their wonderful examples ect. except for my son and one other who's parents are also divorced. Or could it be that the "MIX" spent the entire weekend in a hotel with his new girlfriend in a near by town that we used to visit, and then picked up the children to have dinner with his family. Might I add that this was the first holiday that he has spent with his family and the first one I have not. Okay do I sound bitter or ranty? I was and I was having a major pity party as well, I cried my eyes out all day and spent the evening with my dad and brothers (I am sure they enjoyed my party as well) Don't get me wrong, I am happier divorced from the person my ex has become but there are certain firsts that are hard to swallow. This divorce thing is just a bad gig, it is painful and lonely and I am so glad to have great friends that help pull me through. The up side is that after a good nights sleep and a pound of eye cream for the bags Monday was a new day and I woke with a smile on my face and a spring in my step, I am blessed.