Blind Sided

As I approach the one year mark with my divorce...I thought I had about done all the firsts. First Christmas, first wedding anniversary, birthday, mothers day, ect. then. DA DA DA DA: Fathers Day and smack I was completely blind sided, I had no idea I would take it so hard. Maybe it was that there was know one to fix breakfast in bed for...wait that was kinda nice:) maybe it was the primary kids singing in sacrament meeting and my little one saying "well that was awkward, I was singing to know one" or maybe it was the priests in the ward all speaking about their fathers and their wonderful examples ect. except for my son and one other who's parents are also divorced. Or could it be that the "MIX" spent the entire weekend in a hotel with his new girlfriend in a near by town that we used to visit, and then picked up the children to have dinner with his family. Might I add that this was the first holiday that he has spent with his family and the first one I have not. Okay do I sound bitter or ranty? I was and I was having a major pity party as well, I cried my eyes out all day and spent the evening with my dad and brothers (I am sure they enjoyed my party as well) Don't get me wrong, I am happier divorced from the person my ex has become but there are certain firsts that are hard to swallow. This divorce thing is just a bad gig, it is painful and lonely and I am so glad to have great friends that help pull me through. The up side is that after a good nights sleep and a pound of eye cream for the bags Monday was a new day and I woke with a smile on my face and a spring in my step, I am blessed.

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Online Dating Blues

So I think I've searched every cute guy under LDS singles online possible. I've even expanded my age bracket up and down to capture anyone that might be under the radar. In new efforts in experimenting I put up more photos. It's hilarious!! At first I was going to be totally sarcastic in my pictures but then my pride did get the best of me. So I put normal pictures. We'll see what happens and if I get more activity. It's not like it matters but I figured I'd follow my own rule of thumb and have a profile picture within the last 6 months. Time is sure passing fast. I'm happy to be divorced! As hard as it is to be single it is sooooo worth not being married to that man again. It's been 7 months!! WOW.....Why am I trying so hard to find a stellar guy (I have found a few)....because my womb is becoming more shriveled every day. Motivation will make you do the craziest thing. I even posted a body shot :)

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Cougar?!

What the?
So what is one to do when a 20 something really cute guy at the local Oil Can Henry's
flirts and then asks for your phone number? With all the other guys around you can't embarrass him and say no or Hello I am like old enough to be your mother! So what are the rules with this? Wow this is a complicated life this single thing.

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The Great Date

We all hate the first date thing, you have to go over all the details...AGAIN. And you never know if you will see the guy again, or if you will want to. I try to get out there and at least meet the guys I have been talking with so I can either delete ( which is normally the case) their number from my phone or add the photo I.D. and hope for the best. Lately I have been so sick of the first date and so disappointed in the LDS men I have met that I was on a little break. I canceled all of my online accounts and decided to lay low for a while, UNTIL...the big D sent me a text. Ok so D and I have been texting and talking on the phone for about 3 months off and on. He is really fun and funny and we seem to talk easily and have a lot in common but since his divorce is not final (even though he has been separated for 2 years) I told him I needed to step back and he could contact me when it was done. So the text arrives and he is in Portland and wants to meet, what does a girl do...curiosity got the better of curious Georgie and I went to meet him. How could a date be better, it wasn't the activity it was the company! He was so cute (better then the pictures) He paid for everything, wouldn't even hear of me paying my own way, opened my doors and was 100% attentive. He even shopped at the kitchen store with me! I really enjoyed myself. Crap now I am left wondering about him and no the divorce is still not over! UGH.

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Dating is not for the faint of heart

Four is my record so far and literally it was 100% absolutely no fun whatsoever. What am I talking about? Four dates in one week. I don't know what I was thinking or what made me so motivated to meet and greet but it was tiring and harder than I'll get out!. It wasn't fun and they were all first dates and by the end of the week I never wanted to round up a babysitter again.

That's what is so hard about meeting people. It totally is the first impression that matters. When you meet somebody out and about you already form your first impression so a date might be exciting or something you look forward too. Without that you're left with waiting for it to end if the chemistry isn't there! Don't get me wrong...I make the best of it and laugh and smile but by the end I for sure know that I'm not interested. And that's what happened with all four dates.......Not interested in a one of them and I started to think that Pancake man was not a bad option.

Please let me know when I'll see the results of my workout. Maybe I should talk more on the phone instead of just jumping to meet people. However I never want to have an experience like Curious Georgie. Much to traumatizing for that.

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