Monday, July 13, 2009


Heartache is inevitable in dating. You like someone and they don't like you. Someone likes you and you don't like them. You have secret crushes, you fall in love, and their response back isn't what you have hoped. It's the dating game and though it isn't fun it is necessary to risk that pain for joy that could be yours in the future.

I do believe in love. There is nothing wrong with it. Although I don't need a man in my life, I certainly want and welcome one into it. I don't look too hard for it but when it happens I appreciate it. I don't fall in love easily and recently something of the sort happened to me. I liked the guy.....I honestly did. I fell in love despite my mind pulling me in the opposite direction. I knew he wasn't into me from the beginning. His actions proved that to me but yet I still wanted to give it a chance. Why? Because I'm not going to regret letting any guy go without thoroughly knowing he's not the one for me.

A friend used to tell me in college that within three dates you know if you could have a future with that person. I used to laugh and tell him that it was impossible to get to know someone in that time. However this second time around, I see it so much differently. I'm not into passing time and yes, within three dates and the right questions I can tell if there would be a future.

Now my recent heartache proves that risk is still involved. It doesn't mean that there will be a future on date #4 but it does mean that I'm continuing for a reason. I've passed time with so many men in my life and nothing beneficial came from it. I don't need a man, I just appreciate love. I'm a long term, loyal kind of girl and I'm not going to make the same mistake twice. I went on one too many dates with my ex-husband only because I didn't want the burden of causing him heartache. I can appreciate being dumped, the niceties that go along with it, not knowing the true reasons, second guessing yourself.....etc. etc. I just wish it didn't hurt so bad. But that indeed is the dating game and that's where I am in life. I'll risk the pain for the eternal joy that the future may hold.

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